Since I finally finished the Hexagon Blanket and gave it to my friend – who, by the way, absolutely loves it – I gave myself a day off from responsibilities on Sunday and let myself spin as much as I wanted to. I’ve really missed the quiet meditation of spinning. This fibre is some merino pencil roving that I bought at last year’s MD Sheep and Wool festival. Most of it drafts so smoothly, but there are some matted bits that I pull out as I find them. The sections that are dyed the darkest colour are harder to draft, for some reason.
So I’ve decided that I’m not making any more baby gifts when friends announce their pregnancies. It’s not that I don’t like to; I actually really like to make gifts for my friends! I had an especially good time with the hexagon blanket, because it was my first crochet project. I love giving gifts (more than I like receiving them, actually) and I love being recognized as a skilled fibre artist. I love that look of “oh, wow,” when the box is opened.
What I don’t love is working to deadlines. I never have. They make me stressed. I can’t enjoy another project when I have a deadline project on the needles; I always feel as if I should be working on it and nothing else. So that’s that – I might make things for babies again, but I won’t be doing it to a deadline. If a particular pattern catches my eye I’ll consider making it in a gender-neutral colour and save it for a future baby. Or I might crochet some toys just to learn how to do it, then give them as gifts.
I want to get back to knitting for myself. I want to work on my own projects and designs without feeling guilty that I’m taking time away from a deadlined gift project. Hopefully it won’t be taken the wrong way. What does it say about me that I feel bad for saying I’m not going to make gifts as a default anymore? Just because I *can*, doesn’t mean I *should*.